Tuesday, May 24, 2016

不太记得了

噗噗的敲打
汽车的雨刷左右摆动着
抹去,抹去
让过去的点滴都抚平
呈现出清楚的现在

刚入中年啊,记忆力却消退得如此厉害
时常上床后想不起有否刷牙
记不住路,记不住电话
翻看旧的文章
不能相信是自己

人说,发生过的事情便不会忘记
永远在大脑的某些角落,某些细胞里
断了的
是链接,再也无法找回
却永远在你身体里
汲取营养,又在你脆弱的时候
给你力量

遗忘,却又不是消退
更像生命对自己的保护
让日渐沉重的包袱
今生再也见不到的人,回不了的故乡
乖乖待在属于他们的时空
过去现在未来,同时存在
物理学家如是说

每日都像是新生
无尽的希望,永远用不完的精力
谁说自己老了
年龄带来的,是更迅速的再生
所谓的刻骨铭心
是年轻人的夸大其词

只是
偶尔在驶过某个街头
在中国店的通俗歌曲中推车踱步
给突突长高的小孩套上衣服
会恍然有那么一瞬间,夹在两个现实当中的一刻
又回到那年初夏
即将废弃的教学楼,空荡的教室
我非要给你讲我最新的神经科学理论
我穿着深蓝印花的裙子
也许是深灰
也许没有印花
抑或那天根本就没存在过

反正,我也都不太记得了




Monday, May 16, 2016

【相声】学术封神榜

  
A:现代人啊,退休都太早了。

B:六十五也不算早了吧?

A:你看人家姜子牙,找到工作的时候都七十多了,还能成就大业。

B:那他之前干嘛去了?

A:从省重点学堂出来后,状元没考中。一边给县令儿子当私家补习挣钱,复读一年,还是不中。于是决定去昆仑山魔法学校学法术。

B:魔法学校,怎么去啊?

A:听人家说的,先来到城门口,找准一面墙。趁别人叫马车的时候,冲着那面墙冲过去,你就进入仙界了。

B:这是封神榜啊还是哈利波特啊?

A:结果来到昆仑山后很失望,发现每天干来干去就是炼丹,种花,学数理。

B:那姜子牙在昆仑山待了多久?

A:二十年。

B:为啥这么久才毕业?

A:选错课题了呗!人家学数理的三年就毕业了,去给诸侯当推算运势的决策家,拿高薪住大茅屋。种花的去了皇家园林,开发新品种兼写书。他炼丹的一开始倒是进展快,也发了不少高因子论文,可到了Phase III 的时候硬给FDA卡了十几年才通过。

B:嗨!那毕业后干啥去了?

A:原以为一堆paper 和专利,找个教职不成问题。后来发现僧多粥少,申请青年仙人又早过了年龄,只好先去领域内最牛的商教授手下做千老。炼丹加杀老鼠。

B:这学道之人还是不要杀老鼠吧?

A:他们也不想啊。后来发现那儿的老鼠偷吃仙丹,都快成精了。

B:怎么个成精法?

A:有天姜子牙独自在lab 里工作到深夜,正打算从一瓶中取样,忽听角落说到:怎么又忘了换pipette  tip 了?样本不都contaminated 了?

B:这老鼠都可以当advisor 了。既然闹老鼠,为啥不养只猫?

A:别提了,坏就坏在这猫身上!

B:怎么回事儿?

A:说来话长。本来这商教授工作勤奋,有一天大薄厚来报:老板,咱们NIHProgram Officer换新的了,你要不要去走动走动?

B:商教授去了吗?

A:开始他也不想去,但为了事业,还是去了。结果到那里时PO因为紧急情况外出,没见到。

B:那就回去吧?

A:人虽没见到,墙上的相片可看到了。哎呀,这位女PO长得可真美呀!商教授随手在墙上题诗一首:“凤鸾宝帐景非常,尽是泥金巧样妆。但得妖娆能举动。。。”

B:最后一句我知道:“取回长乐侍君王。”

A:错,是“NIH钱拿光。”

B:嗨!那女娲,不是,那PO回来看了怎么想?

A:那可不气坏了。心想,国家给你这么多资助,你不好好想着如何做课题,却来打这歪主意。大叫一声:众妖听令!

B:哪来的妖?

A:都是做药物和基因失败了的动物。PO对他们说:现由九耳猫咪带头,一众人等去迷惑商教授,把他实验室搞烂。事成之后,准许你们回炉再造。

B:这九耳猫有什么能耐?

A:能耐就是有九只耳朵。要是砍掉一只,还能长出来。

B:这有什么意义?

A:现在不就兴研究regeneration吗?耳朵坏了要是能再长个新的出来,还要什么助听器?

B:有道理。可这不是挺好的事儿吗?

A:商教授得了九耳猫,自是高兴得不得了,日日在一间小屋里研究猫。结果实验室的学生博后们不干了。一个学生说,老板终日沉迷猫咪,已经几个月没上朝开会了,要他批改的文章也堆积如山。

B:这样可不好。

A:另一个学生说,可不是嘛!每天为了清理猫咪耳朵,用了大量alcohol,都倒在池子里。各种肉罐头摆的和树林一样高。

B:原来酒池肉林是这么来的。

A:姜子牙一看,这个lab没前途,就辞职了。因为一时也找不到其他工作,只好每日在渭水边钓鱼卖鱼为生。

B:都这么大年龄了,子牙他成家了没有?

A:渭水边不好找老婆,只能回老家莒县搬运。老家有户邻居,生了四个女儿,都还没出嫁。

B:那敢情好。这四个女儿都长什么样?

A:那年头,没出嫁的闺女可不是随便能见的。子牙只好花重金托人去打听。

B:打听结果如何?

A:都说大女儿如花不能要,她长胡子呀!

B:听名字就知道了。那二女儿呢?

A:二女儿如来倒是脸上光光,问题是连头发都光了。

B:怪不得叫如来。

A:老三叫如梦。

B:这个听着好。

A:你怎知道是美梦还是噩梦?子牙一想,还是别冒险了。就娶老四吧,如水。

B:这个肯定错不了。

A:娶回来后发现,如水其实是她的short name

B:全名叫什么?

A:如水桶。

B:凑合着过吧。

A:就这么过了多年。有一天碰上一个周教授也来钓鱼,和姜子牙聊了起来。

B:都聊些什么?

A:当然是工作方面的事了。先是周教授说,目前国家已经投入这么多资金到丹药行业,为何有新意的成果还是寥寥无几?

B:子牙如何回答?

A:太急功近利了!像人参和灵芝这种珍贵药材,本来就要多年养殖。我们再进行基因改良的话,就更花时间了。但你看评tenure也好,考productivity也好,都要人在短期内出活。

B:有道理。

A:子牙又说,还有这个丹炉的问题。现在很多人为了省钱省时间,都买高压丹炉。我曾经用COMSOL做了个simulation,证明传统炉无论在材料,外形,火候方面都是现代炉无法取代的。

B:这是哪年的paper

A1013 A.D.

B:好嘛。那周教授说什么?

A:我之前拿到一上古秘方,据说是元始天尊传下来的。别的材料我都准备得七七八八了,唯独这飞龙心三十克,不知何处获取。

B:子牙有办法吗?

A:巧了!子牙说,这个课题我们原本也在搞,猫来了后因为funding用光就没跟进了。我总共收集了上万个带蚊子的琥珀,已成功找出吸过翼龙血的,还造了干细胞出来。

B:敢情要建侏罗纪公园。

A:周教授一拍手,好!这可是个high risk, high impact的项目。欢迎你加入我们的科研团队,待遇优厚。

B:都是什么待遇?

A在国家提供的一百锭黄金启动经费基础上,学校给予1:1配套。住房上,给大露台复式茅屋一个单位,楼下配私家鸡窝和猪圈。学校附属三甲郎中及接生婆提供优质的医疗保障。

B:终于可以大干一场了。

A:第一步就是要挑战对手商教授。姜子牙对周公说:商手下有个千老叫黄飞虎,有次把爱猫带去lab,遭九耳猫调戏,跳楼自杀,黄一直怀恨在心。我若联系他,必反。

B:这黄飞虎有何本事?

A:身手可厉害了!知道香港特种警察为何叫“飞虎队”吗?就是以他为榜样。

B:都有什么英雄事迹?

A:说来可多了。比如敌营偷机密,孤岛救人质;雨中战Agents,扬名独立日。

B:看来好莱坞大片也都是以他为原型。

A:无论如何,子牙这行干了这么多年,仙界人界都认识不少,哪吒就是一个。

B:连三太子都请得动?

A:不请自来啊!说是早就恨透了商教授,要告他。

B:有何典故?

A:当年哪吒妈妈怀他时,吃了商教授研制的保胎药。结果剂量标的不对,搞得哪吒在肚子里待了三年才出来。

B:这多待会儿也没啥吧?

A:谁说的?当年他妈妈刚怀孕不久,李天王就外出办事儿去了。两年后回来见老婆大着肚子,差点儿闹离婚。

B:以为是隔壁老王的。

A:没多久,斗败了商教授,终于可以开展复制飞龙的大计划。

B:那飞龙造出来没有?

A:飞龙没造出来,倒复制了个元始天尊。

B:这是怎么回事儿?

A:唉,还不都怪子牙在捣鼓样品的时候,又忘了换pipette  tip了。

B:这可如何是好?

A:这更好了!有天尊亲自指导,炼丹事业还不蒸蒸日上?有诗为证:“渭水溪头一钓竿,气吐虹霓扫日寒。自从梦入飞能後。。。”

B:最后一句我知道,是“八百馀年享奠安。”

A:错,是“NIH给光钱。”


(鞠躬)
 












Saturday, April 30, 2016

Interview with Dr. Daliang Wang

 By Fiona Rawsontile, April 2016

 I got to know Dr. Wang when he first announced his candidacy for a department chair position. Since it’s uncommon for Chinese scholars to assume administrative roles in academia, I became interested in knowing more about him. So while traveling back and forth between his current and future institutes, wrapping up old business and setting up new, Dr. Wang had to put up with the interruptions and spare time satisfying my curiosity. But I justify myself by imagining that others may also benefit from his experience and wisdom.

Fiona: At the time you applied for the Chair position, had you been shopping around for administrative openings?

Dr. Wang: I had never considered leaving my current university or seeking an administrative position until about a year ago. I was frustrated at the time when I bumped into this opening. I said to myself, “That seems like a position for me.” So I applied.

Fiona: I’m glad you did it. During the job interview, while facing your future colleagues, some of whom were probably more established than you are, have you ever doubted that you would be the right person for the business? How did you know you were ready?

Dr. Wang: I guess it’s like many other journeys in my life: I was not fully ready but had to embark on anyway. I have been working on developing programs and initiatives that fostered leadership since I started as an assistant professor. In a way, I had been preparing myself when the opportunity presented luckily. I still can’t say I am ready now, but I know I can do it in the days to come. I also believe that leadership requires a different set of skills that are not necessarily associated with academic achievements or seniority.

Fiona: I agree; it has more to do with the person’s willingness to serve a group or make a difference. What was the most difficult part during the interview? Ever wished you had known more about the individuals in the department?

Dr. Wang: You are right that the most difficult part of my interview was the lack of knowledge on the exact issues/problems faced by the department in advance. I gave an oral presentation largely based on my speculations, experience, and limited information about the faculty. During my second campus interview, I spoke to everyone in the department and discussed about their specific concerns. But still, I gained their votes without being able to please everyone.  

Fiona: You specialize in teaching non-native speakers second languages. Have you observed differences in the way native English speakers learn Chinese, as opposed to how Chinese people learn English? Do you have any advice for us ESL learners?

Dr. Wang: I believe in terms of complexity, every language is about the same, while the challenge in learning each of them is unique. For Chinese, it is the characters and tones that frustrate non-native learners. The ways of approaching a language, English or Chinese, depend on the educational practices the learners are comfortable with. So it’s hard to characterize how Americans differ from Chinese in learning a foreign language.

As for advice on learning English, I think anyone who is reading this article must have had some good ideas already. For me, I enjoyed learning English and using it in life, such as watching TV shows, movies, and reading.

Fiona: Maybe that enjoyment is the key. Do you think your linguistic expertise has advanced your career by equipping you with exceptional skills to sway your audience?

Dr. Wang: Yes and no. As Confucius said, “The superior man is modest in his speech, but exceeds in his action”. I cannot downplay the importance of words, but for this position, language was actually not in my favor as other competitors were all native-born Americans. I guess I convinced my future employer by fully presenting myself, including my education, experience, vision, and even my disposition.

Fiona: Would you like to share with us some administrative experience in the past? What kind of leadership style do you have?

Dr. Wang: I have been assuming quite a few leadership roles in and out of my institute since I started career. My most significant administrative experience came from the Intensive English Program that I established with my colleagues. As a language teacher, I had always wanted to create a program to help international students succeed in American universities. We built everything from scratch. As the founding director, I was involved in every aspect of the program establishment, including budgeting, teacher hiring and evaluation, and student recruiting and advising. That experience provided me with valuable firsthand knowledge as an administrator. As a result, we had quite a success for the first year and the program kept growing thereafter.

As for my leadership style, my goal is to assemble a well-balanced combination of leadership skills.  I would tailor my management strategies according to the situation and the individuals involved. I believe in democracy and open-communication, but when necessary, I can be decisive and tough. 

Fiona: Speaking of tough situations, what would you do if a senior faculty doesn’t listen to you or acknowledge the goals you’ve set for the team?

Dr. Wang: This is a fairly common question with no fixed answer, given that every circumstance is unique. Changes can bring problems and conflicts to certain people. If a senior faculty disagrees with me, first I would try to understand his/her perspective by listening, to see if there is a common ground. I would also seek alliance and support from others, or tackle the issue from a different angle. In the worst case when nothing works, you will have to deal with it straightforwardly. i.e., firing that person (if I can!) or just leaving him alone. Either way, I will make sure I document every step.

Fiona: Yes, keep the documentation. What do you think is the most important element for a group of people, who are largely autonomous with respect to their financial and professional status, to function as a team?

Dr. Wang: It’s apparently challenging to lead a group of professors, especially when they are literally from all over the world. Collegiality is the element that I will strive to cultivate and maintain for the department.  I will set up commonly-shared goals, transparent decision-making process, and sound mentorship, to name a few. I imagine the whole department as a ship where everyone is in the right position. They don’t have to work with each other daily, but as long as everyone is doing his/her job, the ship will be moving forward.

Fiona: On staff recruitment and tenure promotion, will you hire additional faculty in the next five years to open up new areas, strength the existing, or simply replace the to-be-retired? How would you plan to help young faculty reach the tenure criteria?

Dr. Wang: I do have a few plans to expand existing programs and establish new ones. For example, I will expand the minor in Chinese Language and create a minor in Asian Studies and Japanese. I also hope to build a joint graduate program with other departments. I intend to hire more tenure-track faculty to consolidate those programs.

Yes, I have plans for assisting young faculty in their early career, both formally and informally. Mandatory activity includes periodic observations, annual evaluations, third-year reviews, etc., which will be put in handbooks. Informal ones may come from diverse sources, such as peer-mentoring, external mentoring, and university-sponsored workshops. I will form a mentoring group and a supporting “net” for every new hire and make sure no one’s left out.

Fiona: “Glass Ceiling” is a frequent complaint we hear from Chinese faculty in the western societies, especially male. What are the obstacles you’ve observed on their way of pursuing an administrative career? What kind of skills they should try to consciously acquire for this purpose?

Dr. Wang: I actually hit my “Glass Ceiling” at my previous institute and have been struggling for a while before I got the current offer. In my case, I don’t think it had anything to do with me being a Chinese male, but certain obstacles, such as gender, race, or seniority, do exist for many of us. For me, I got caught up with the administrative transition.

We may not change things that are out of our control, but we can always improve ourselves. Unlike many Chinese professors who focus on research and scholarships, I enjoy teaching and working with people. I have been purposefully polishing my skills in communication, socialization, and public speaking ever since I came here. Those efforts may not guarantee an administrative career, but they made me better at what I do. I know my limits and exactly what I wanted. I work hard along my career path, not for the glory of the destination but for the joy of the journey itself.

Fiona: Thank you very much, Dr. Wang! Please remember to come back and share with us your new experience as you climb up the hills. And enjoy the hiking, just as you said!




Friday, April 8, 2016

火坑专业的十类lab

By Fiona Rawsontile

1. 良莠不齐型。这种我见得最多,通常老板都是比较正直善良那种。由于老板多年的
努力,在领域有一定的名气,所以时不时会有一两个优秀的学生慕名而来的,而且来了
会和老板十分投缘(老板在退休时一定会格外想念和这几个学生在一起的那些日子)。
但这些老板通常是不太会拒绝人的,也基本没开过人。所以无论任何年代,lab里总有
几个混混。但大多数人,就算资质一般,感念老板善良,也会多少productive一些。肯
定有好几个最后当了发考题的,但差的那些经常会让人惊讶:这居然是他/她lab出来的?

2. 放羊型。老板放手不管的原因多种多样:可能快退休了,可能给加了太多admin职位
,家庭原因,或者本来就是没有压力的学校。当然还可能天性如此。这种lab其实对学
生发展是不怎么好的,无论是否打算留academia。大部分是整天找不到老板,也有老板
天天在,但就喜欢聊天听音乐或者东搞西搞的。当然了,如果老板肯support学生的
idea,还给写好推荐信的话,也还好吧。只有极少数自己非常push自己的学生才有出息。

3. 二当家型。老板基本上不再train学生,也不清楚实验具体进度,一切都是由二老板
代劳。由于公立私立对title有不同规定,这个二当家可能是RP/RAP,或者一直叫
scientist。有些能干的technician其实也是这种角色。大老板travel很多,对领域内
其他人的研究非常熟悉,负责把握大方向而已,有的还写proposal,有些连proposal都
是二老板写。这种lab绝对比放羊型要强很多,通常都非常productive,设备用品都管
理的很好。但也有弊端,很多学生薄厚对二老板的管理不服:我的工资又不是你发的,
老板都没意见你叽歪什么?我前途无量,你个千老/tech哪里懂得我的高明之处?

4. 小作坊型。我见过的小作坊大部分是PI风格决定的,很多都还是有一个R01的。这类
PI都不是喜欢灌水那类,比较传统,保守。对科研和学生要求一丝不苟,但不是很大胆
。虽然不排除新PI没有多少钱的,被逼搞小作坊,但我见过的上进的PI,即使没多少钱
,也会想办法搞些免费或者TA便宜本科生访问生来,所以作坊照样能搞很大。小作坊自
然不会大产量,也(因为PI保守)很少弄到高因子杂志上去。不过因为管理严格,还是
在比较不错的杂志有稳定发表。

5. 事在人为型。如上所述,新PI,学校也不太好,资源很有限。但是自己想尽办法,
还是可以东拉西凑搞很多东西出来。这种lab出来的学生肯定学会了不少动手技能,坏
处就是老板名气不够,学校也一般。这种学生在这里出来后,再去大牛lab镀金一下就
完美了。

6. 穷途末路型。有小型或中小型,但一眼看去就知道是穷途末路。通常还不是要退休
那种。功成圆满退休的,无论大小都有种喜庆平和在内。这种穷途末路型通常有两个特
色,一,funding吃紧(但不是唯一的因素,因为很多好lab也可能有困难时期),关键
是二,之前的好几年都没有像样的publication,学生出路也很不好。大部分都走的走
,散的散,留下的可能是极其老实,或者在等拿到学位,或者家庭原因的。这个说起来
,PI责任很大。虽然funding谁都不能保证,但是当钱还没用光,人还有几个的时候,
应该保证publication才行。所以通常都有PI个人疏忽因素在内。

7. 桃李天下型。PI名气必须很大,才能保证个个都是明星学生。这个PI也不像第一类
那么心软,招人的时候是比较谨慎的,有的甚至只招打算留在学术界的,所以好处是一
定会支持学生找教职。虽然肯定没有太多时间管学生,但要求还是比较高的。大家发的
都是很不错的paper。自己名气,再加上学生资质,最后真的是有很多徒子徒孙干这行
。唯一坏处就是将来子孙们,因为干的都很近,可能成为竞争者。

8. 纯粹牺牲型。PI可能名气也不小,但主要特点就是lab基本没人最后在本国(注意这
很重要;外国不算)找到教职甚至工业界工作的,而且大部分是国际学生。这类情况我
见过的有两个原因:一,方向太差,太窄,或者太冷。这么说吧,PI自己是立足了,但
学生能找的教职工作非常有限,因为需求少(比如很高级动物;很多学校没这个设施的
)。二,PI过于自私。上面几类也不乏自私的,但没到这个程度。比如卡着不给毕业不
给写推荐信的,或者和学生抢credit的,还有不允许学生自己申请grant的(怕拿到马
上走掉)。很多学生虽然回到自己国家能找到教职,但留在这里是没希望的。

9. 自主沉浮型。PI并不是放羊类的,Lab也是有些钱的,甚至有的钱不少。但是PI多少
有些管理或者性格缺陷。比如有些个人喜好太重,对待学生不是按照成绩而是偏袒部分
人。这样非常影响学生积极性,除非是意志很坚强的。还有的太moody了,忽冷忽热,
今天把你夸上天,明天又狠批一顿。还有的缺乏主张,一会儿说干这个一会儿干那个,
出了错都怪学生。这种lab出来的学生前途很难说,要靠自己,但和放羊型又不一样。
光是用功的学生未必能存活,还得精明懂事,知道如何为前途打算,会和PI搞好关系才
行。比如PI支持,拿到K99,然后找到教职就是PI同事了。不成器的还是占多数。

10. 游戏人生型。这种lab因为刚好在某时候碰到了很好的机遇,或者方向极度
clinical,不缺钱(但钱也不多)。PI本身就没多少硬功夫,但对科研还是挺有兴趣,
整天都乐乐呵呵,到处travel参加各种会议,玩,找人合作。学生来了也没几个正经干
活的,PI也不太在乎。组会开的还挺勤,但都是讲理想型.  Alright! We will soon 
start a new project! 讲了半天significance,但具体怎么干老下不来,或者订好了
老没人干。(我曾在这种lab rotation一个学期,个个都不喜欢我,因为我是唯一一个
督促大家干活的。)当然了,由于productivity太低,这种方式长久不了。