Thursday, March 26, 2015

相声:富教授


A:有道是,名不正,言不顺啊!
B:这话怎讲?
A:我几年前就升为正教授了,可是别人都还管我叫“副教授”。
B:为什么呀?
A:我姓“富”。
B:那就对了,就该管你叫“富教授”。
A:谁富教授了?我挣这么点儿钱,有什么富了?
B:那你怨不了人家,谁叫你姓这么个姓来着?
A:不过话说回来,现在总比当学生那时候有钱了。
B:那是自然。
A:先说住房。想当年刚来美国的时候,跟一对夫妻share一个studio
B:你等等,有这么share的吗?
A:这咋了?
B:这不合适。
A:有啥不合适了?不仅不用交房租,他们还给钱我。
B:有这种好事儿?
A:人家夫妻一早就买了房了,又自家开了个网上售货公司。白天来studio上班,我反正也要去学校。晚上他们下班了,我正好回来住。
B:哦,闹了半天你是给人守仓库的呀!
A:别说得这么难听行不行?后来人家搬去外地,我也只能另找房东。
B:外加失业。
A:看了几家出租的house,最后选了个朝向最好的。
B:你还挺讲究嘛!
A:不挑不行啊!地下室就那么个小窗户,朝向再不好不就关小黑屋了?
B:真够可怜的。
A:也不是那么可怜,至少桌球啦,钓鱼器械啦,滑雪用具啦,应有尽有。
B:都在你屋里搁着呢。
A:住了不到一年,觉得这种不见天日的生活还是不能长久。
B:太压抑。
A:一咬牙,租了个Penthouse
B:顶楼应该光线充足。
A:光线是真不错,空气也特别流通,视野开阔!唯一的不足就是这个墙是斜着的,直不起腰。
B:阁楼啊!
A:没啥,我原先坐火车最喜欢卧铺。
B:离天那么近,还可以假想自己是宇航员。
A:总之那几年是熬过来了。后来当了博后,结了婚,再穷也要住像样一点儿。
B:不能再凑合了。
A:租了个一室一厅,房子本身倒没什么可夸的,但地角实在太好了,交通方便呀!
B:离高速公路不远?
A:就在头顶上。
B:地铁站?
A:脚底下。
B:加油站?
A:隔壁。
B:住加油站隔壁,你不担心起火什么的?
A:不怕,消防局就在对面儿。
B:好嘛,这还能睡得着觉吗?
A:我睡觉还行,但我太太受不了。经常半夜起来坐在床上玩手提电脑。
B:干嘛不去厅里?
A:厅里不是睡着研究生嘛!
B:不忘帮助后来人。
A:你还别说,这房子还真帮了那个学生忙了。
B:怎么回事?
A:有天半夜,这孩子突然大叫肚子疼,看样子像急性阑尾炎。
B:那快叫救护车啊!
A:叫救护车干嘛?医院急诊室的大门离我们家比离他们的garage还近。
B:真方便啊!
A:进了医院登记,护士要我们填emergency contact。我说打电话多麻烦呐,有事儿找我们夫妇就冲二楼走廊尽头的窗户外喊一嗓子就得了。
B:邻居。
A:后来总算找到发考题工作了。几年前买了两万尺的靠海别墅,外加私人海滩和十五亩地。
B:这么大块儿地,你都干啥呀?
A:也没干什么,就是偶尔散个步什么的。
B:没种点儿花花草草?
A:种了些珊瑚。
B:种那个干啥?
A:一涨潮都在水下面儿泡着呢。
B:这么个十五亩地啊!
A:房子一共四层。
B:这么大的空间,都怎么布置?
A:先说地下室,我们可没那么多乱七八糟的东西放。全部用来建停车场。
B:那能停不少车。
A:一楼是游泳池和餐厅。二楼建个豪华影院。
B:那叫一个爽!
A:三楼全部搞成客房。顶楼是我们夫妇的超级大卧室。
B:神仙日子呀。
A:每到周末可忙了,在游泳池就呆一上午。
B:那不累吗?
A:还好吧,大部分时间在梯子顶上坐着。
B:救生员呐!
A:下午连放三场电影。
B:能吃得消吗?
A:想看就看,不想看就去后面的小屋读书去。
B:只管播放。
A:我跟太太胃口都好,中午和晚上都要炒几十个菜。
B:忙得过来吗?
A:所以请了工人帮忙。
B:吃完晚饭该休息了吧?
A:休息啥?客人要求多着呢。一会儿要咖啡,一会儿要加被褥。
B:你们真好客啊!
A:我们就是好客的人。为了他们找我们方便,干脆去高速公路旁边竖了个牌子,告诉他们我们家怎么走。
B:那晚上总要休息吧?
A:十点后就差不多忙完了。去我们的顶楼大卧房,真是视野开阔,空气流通。
B:这日子过得!
A:就是有一点儿,墙都是斜着的,直不起腰。
B:那还不如搬到三楼客房算了。
A:不行啊,客房都满了。
B:不能叫客人去楼上住吗?
A:折腾人家不好,人家第二天一早还要开车呢。
B:家庭Motel呀!

(鞠躬)




Monday, March 16, 2015

【相声】夫妻店

A:这个Academia呀,夫妻店现象太普遍啦!
B:是吗?这是好事儿吧。
A:有好,也有不好。
B:怎么个不好了?
A:拿我原先做薄厚的时候来讲吧,我做的实验,经常要order supply,所以老得麻烦 lab manager。每次都得堆着笑脸求人家,怕人家不耐烦。
B:这是那人的工作呀,有啥可担心?
A:她不是老板娘嘛!
B:那是不能不注意。
A:老板娘在乎老板的生意,凡事都要精打细算,买最合算的。实验室用剩的仪器,舍不得扔,都拿回家了。
B:都什么仪器啊?
A:比如键盘之类的。
B:拿回去有用。
A:每次我跟她说,又得进鼠粮了,她就冲我一撇嘴,你挺能吃的啊?
B:这怎么说话来着?
A:我说,我那几只老鼠是挺能吃的。她说,你确定只是你们几个吃的?
B:什么叫你们几个呀!
A:会不会是给他们吃了?她伸手指了下靠窗那几个桌子。当时坐在那儿的几个博士差点儿跳起来跟她急。
B:是得急。
A:我连忙过去解释,说不是指你们。这面墙有个洞,里面有几个外来的,说的是它们。
B:你人真好,要我就由着他们打。
A:然后老板娘又问我,上次那个品牌吃着还好?
B:怎么老听着这么别扭!
A:我说看我那几个家伙的体重,应该还好。她说这有一个好牌子正在打折,不如咱尝尝这个?
B:叫她自己去尝吧!
A:我想了一下说,还是别了。万一吃上瘾,将来不打折了怎么办?
B:想得真周到。
A:她说,没白跟我这么久啊!
B:谁跟谁呀!
A:每次有女学生来找王教授,一进实验室,老板娘就说了,他忙,有事儿跟我说吧。
B:她做得了主嘛!
A:平常还好,就怕两口子闹别扭。比如上次老板娘的娘来了,老板忙着给动物做手术,没能亲自去接。
B:那也是没办法的事呀。
A:可老板娘不这么想。“做人呀,有时还真不如做个动物!”
B:这话说的。
A:来实习的小本不知道个中情由,跟着附和:是啊,隔三差五一堆人来检查动物,谁管过我们啦?
B:老板娘说啥?
A:可不是嘛!整天knock out, knock out的,当心别把自己的良心给knock out了。
B:这家里的事儿,还是别带到工作上来。
A:说完了翻药箱去了。一边翻一边说,亏咱们还是做老鼠的,连老鼠药都没有。
B:这听着挺吓人的。
A:有次跟老板出去开会,老板偷偷跟我诉苦。说你看老赵前一阵儿跟老婆吵架,每天半夜才回家。老吴和lab manager闹矛盾,好几天没来上班。
B:有这种事儿?
A:冲我一排胸脯:我躲哪儿去啊?
B:真不容易啊!
A:也有让人感动的时候。比如那次实验室快没钱了,为了keep running,老板娘决定,钱都用来给我们发工资了,不买supply了。
B:这怎么成?
A:自己动手,丰衣足食。我们显微镜用的切片,都是老板娘亲手割的玻璃。
B:不容易。
A:滤光的filter,是老板娘的丝袜。
B:这能行吗?
A:氯化钠用光了,老板娘把家里的食盐拿来提纯。
B:能提的纯吗?
A:一边提纯一边嘱咐老板:记得下次别买加碘的啊!
B:多一趟工序。
A:做手术前一天发现用来缝suture的needle断了。害得她忙了一宿。
B:忙啥呀?
A:只要功夫深,铁棒磨成针。
B:有毅力!
A:后来我找到工作了,独立出去了。
B:再见不到这些子事儿了。
A:谁说的?到了新单位没多久,发现chair只要跟dean闹矛盾,就跑去秘书哪里诉苦去了。
B:这都什么乱七八糟的!
A:秘书是provost的小姨子啊。
B:原来如此。
A:后来又要招新同事。叫了四个来面试,我挺纳闷的。几个candidates水平怎么差别这么大呀!
B:都是怎么个样?
A:最好的是咱们同胞,女的,虽然自己带两个孩子,研究做得真不错。
B:为啥自己带两个孩子?
A:老公在外地。但是其他几个可真不敢恭维。
B:那还给叫来?
A:一个是同事A的老婆。
B:这可得照顾。
A:问题是这个同事之前弄了个老婆过来,又离了,按说已经用光了他的名额了。
B:这还分名额的?
A:而且同事B强烈反对,说这种档次的招来,丢我们学校的脸呀!
B:这说得有点儿过分吧?
A:不过分,B就是A的前妻。
B:原来如此。
A:A一听,你要这么说,那我无论如何也不能同意招这第三个candidate了!
B:那为啥呀?
A:这第三个是B的新老公。
B:真够乱的啊!
A:这第四个candidate就更不靠谱了。
B:又怎么了?
A:他是同事C的男朋友。大家就劝C,说你不如再等两年?你们要是最后成了还好,要是成不了,将来整天见面多尴尬!
B:有先例在这儿。
A:最后折腾了半天,总算大家还是顾全大局的,决定把我们的同胞录取了。
B:这好啊!
A:好是好,就是有一点儿,我以后周末不能随便加班了。
B:你老婆呀!
(鞠躬)

推荐相声:天外飞仙
http://fionarawsontile.blogspot.com/2016/01/blog-post.html








Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Free Kindle Books (Maura's Gate---Sci Fi Series)

The Lost Jupiter, 3rd story of the science fiction series, Maura's Gate, has just been released on Amazon. Starting tomorrow, all three stories can be downloaded for free for a few days.

The Lost Jupiter

It begins with a message---a warning written in English from the last place in the solar system one would look for life. When Devin, a senior NASA astronaut, takes the mission to Jupiter, his goal is to reestablish the conversation. Yet after he has traveled through fierce storms into deadly oceans, he discovers that the human future may rely on a secret of the universe that traces back to hundreds of centuries ago, as well as his ability to win a game---a game of lost and found.

1st, Clam
2nd, Rosetta


And the novel, The Starlight Fortress, will be on sale ($0.99).


Sunday, February 22, 2015

On Procrastination


“Get it down. Take chances. It may be bad, but it's the only way you can do anything really good.” (William Faulkner)

It doesn’t feel good, right? The guilt, the self-contempt, when you are replying non-urgent emails, perfecting powerpoints, checking online news, while knowing well that you have this impending deadline for an important project you haven’t even started. Despite all the grand excuses, you knew what this is all about and loath yourself for not being a better person, because procrastination is ascribed to the dread of hard work.

Well, don’t be so harsh on yourself. Indolence may not be the true story. More than often, what you are afraid of is the failure to pass an unrealistic criterion. For example, you have a deadline for a grant, and your goal is to write a top-notch proposal that will get you funded the first time and eventually secure your tenure. Then no wonder you keep putting it off, because you’ve made the task unnecessarily difficult. To accomplish that goal, the proposal will have to be exquisitely crafted, let alone the science part. The story needs to hold interest; every sentence has to be punchy or precise or informative. With that goal in mind, you see the sweat, the struggle waiting ahead, but above all, the frustration of not meeting your standard despite all the effort.

Some people say, “Deadlines are the most effective cure for procrastination.” Effective, maybe, but not a good cure, because it takes time to produce quality work. A common myth about deadlines is that, as long as you finish the project by that time, it makes no difference when you do it. The truth is, the sooner you start working on something, the better. If you wait until you are left with just enough time to finish it, chances are that adverse situations will pop up, demanding time and attention. An unexpected visitor, a sick family member, car breaking on the street. Worse than those, your computer got a virus. You’d be ill-tempered and resentful since you have reserved all the time till the deadline for the project. The longer the waiting, the higher the risk. You swear that next time you’ll start earlier. No use. Similar scenarios will reoccur unless you change the habit. How about setting up an early deadline by yourself, the so-called soft deadline? Tell yourself that the deadline is a week before the official date. Try it, if you haven’t. Never worked for me.

Timing matters especially when the project involves other people. You know you will do it, eventually, but they don’t. Until you have handed them the final product, they’ll be constantly worried about whether you’ll make it. So, ask yourself two questions: do you have to do this, sooner or later? If you do, will finishing it sooner make others’ life easier? If yes, why wait, unless there are more important tasks on your list? This is not to say we should always treat other people’s requests with higher priorities. Do things in the order determined by their values and urgencies. There are circumstances in which we need to purposely delay certain duties. There are times we have to act at the last minute. But overall, try not to adopt a management style that’s deadline-driven.

Some people say, “The best way to prevent procrastination is to get yourself excited about what you have to do.” That would be nice, but how? We enjoy doing something only after we have started it, and the biggest problem with procrastination is that we keep fooling ourselves that we don’t have to deal with it now. “It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that they are difficult.” (Seneca, 3 BC - 65 AD).

Always on alert for excuses you find for postponing a demanding task. In fact, fulfilling other people’s requests promptly, getting minor jobs done as soon as possible, those legitimate duties might just be your excuses. This type of disguised procrastination is harder to overcome because you appear to be justified. “I have to take care of these things eventually. I’m dealing with them now so that later I can concentrate on the big one.” Well, we sometimes overestimate our capacities. What if we only have half of the time that’s needed? Priorities! Always keep that in mind. If something is important to you, it shouldn’t be the one that gets sacrificed. It deserves your attention immediately.

We have all watched this scene in movies: a man or woman sitting at a desk and writing on a blank paper. After a few seconds, he or she crumples the paper and throws it into the nearby basket. More paper, and eventually a full basket. Now with computers we waste less paper---and reduce the pollution, thank goodness---but we can still waste our time. A whole afternoon is spent working on the first few sentences of an article, typing and revising and erasing. It’s good that we treat the job seriously, but as mentioned above, a high standard only matters for the end result. To get things going, you sometimes have to put up with all the “garbage” in the midst of the progress.

Hemingway said, “The first draft of everything is shit.” I found two implications in this simple quote. First, you are allowed to write an awful first draft. Ask yourself, would you rather have a bad first draft, or no draft at all? To get your ideas straight on the paper, you must refrain from paying attention to rhetoric, because dwelling on word choices and sentence structures may break the flow of your thought. The second advice is that you should never be content with the first draft. Note that this isn’t said by me, a non-native speaker who learned most of her idioms through Googling. Even Hemingway had to revise. Do we write better than him? For example, the article you are reading now has been revised three times. I know, scientific writing is boring; once you have completed the first draft, you can’t wait to put it aside and go on to start something else. Just keep this in mind: if you the author don’t enjoy what you have written, nor will anyone else. This is the time to bring back your high standard. However, if you want to revise and find no time left due to procrastination, that’s another thing.

So my solution is, lower the standard, at least for now. Make it easy enough so it no longer appears to be a daunting task. For example, tell yourself that you will write a proposal that is unlikely to get you funded this time, but will inform you of how your peers think about the project, and may provide you with better ideas on presenting the science or organizing the application, so that in the next round you’ll have a higher chance. Once the pressure has been lifted, you are more likely to hit the road. That’s why I put Faulkner’s quote at the beginning. “Get it down.” Forget about grammar or wording or sentence structures. No one but you will read the first draft. Write it as clumsily and stupidly as you wish. What matters for now is getting it done early, and then we’ll think about how to make improvements. Note that lowering the standard doesn’t mean you’ll end up with an inferior product.  In fact, your chance of being funded will only increase if you have enough time to make revisions and seek critiques.

The larger the project, the stronger your resistance. So the trick is to divide it into small workloads, especially for the first few days, and take one step a time. “Today my goal is to write one paragraph. Then I’m done, and I can enjoy the rest of the day without guilt.” Do that for a few days. If on a particular day you are bombarded, write one sentence at least. Don’t worry about being slow. The key is to establish a routine and get your mind into the mood. We can get used to almost anything we do on a regular basis. If you find yourself pondering on the project when you are not working on it, that’s a good sign. Once the project is coming into shape, however primitive, it’ll no longer appear intimidating and you may finish the rest in one shot. Here is one of my favorite quotes, though not entirely relevant to our topic: “Writing a novel is like driving a car at night. You can see only as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way.” (E.L. Doctorow)

Last, a warning. While you are self-disciplining, think carefully before you decide to make a commitment. Is it really worth the effort? How likely will your project pay off? Or course, we can never predict the outcome. Didn’t Faulkner say “take chances”? But if you have tried all the tricks and still can’t get yourself started, or you’re working on it but the progress drags, then it could be an indication that you shouldn’t be doing it at all. For example, you saw an attractive funding announcement that doesn’t quite fit your expertise. “Wouldn’t hurt to give it a try,” you may say, while trying your best to make the connection. But think about it. If you the investigator aren’t confident, is it likely to convince other people that your idea deserves their money? Might as well save the time for something more productive, such as finishing the next manuscript.


Monday, February 16, 2015

NIH’s New Biosketch


(Note: the following article is based on personal speculations. It has not been proved to generate successful results. Nor does it represent opinions of NIH agencies.)

On Nov 26, 2014, NIH issued a new Biographic Sketch Format (Notice NOT-OD-15-024) for grant due dates on or after May 25, 2015, but can be used before that. Compared with the old one which mostly involves cutting and pasting bibliographical information, the new format requires substantial effort to make it stand out (or even acceptable if everyone else is trying to stand out). On the one hand, it provides you a valuable opportunity to explain your qualification for the proposal and beef up your resume. On the other hand, you’ll be doomed if you try to do this as a last minute thing. So it’s not a bad idea to start working on it now.

Basically, the old section C, “Peer-Reviewed Publications”, has been replaced by “Contribution to Science”. Here are the instructions.

“The new format extends the page limit for the biosketch from four to five pages, and allows researchers to describe up to five of their most significant contributions to science, along with the historical background that framed their research. Investigators can outline the central findings of prior work and the influence of those findings on the investigator’s field. Investigators involved in Team Science are provided the opportunity to describe their specific role(s) in the work. Each description can be accompanied by a listing of up to four relevant peer-reviewed publications or other non-publication research products, including audio or video products; patents; data and research materials; databases; educational aids or curricula; instruments or equipment; models; protocols; and software or netware that are relevant to the described contribution. In addition to the descriptions of specific contributions and documentation, researchers will be allowed to include a link to a full list of their published work as found in a publicly available digital database such as MyBibliography or SciENcv.”

Intuitively, you would want to fill all “five spots” to impress the reviewers, but unless you’ve really done five completely unrelated projects, I would advise not to do so. For example, you have conducted five projects, ABCDE. A is a significant finding that is worth bragging about. B is an independent project, but somehow has connections to A. C and D share some comment features but are different in other aspects; neither alone is impressive. If you describe them all separately, what will the reviewers bring home with? They will remember A, but certain details may be messed up since B keeps jumping out with its similarity.  They won’t be able to tell either C or D. So, why not just present three themes? After all, we only need one Noble Prize to become famous. Combine similar topics, and make each individual case strong and distinct. That is, strong as evidenced by multiple publications, and distinct from any other topic so that there won’t be confusions.

In terms of presenting each topic, if it was a mentored study, I would briefly mention the place and the advisor’s name, such as “This experiment was conducted during my first postdoctoral research with Prof. XX at Impress-U.” This is because, when we review someone’s application, the first thing we do is take a quick look at the places and labs where the applicant has been trained. Very natural, and a valid reviewing process, because when we rate for the “Candidate”, we are supposed to give a higher score if his mentors have the right expertise in the areas of training he has received. So, mentioning the labs saves the reviewer’s time, especially given the fact that the list of publications has been replaced by an URL, which makes it difficult for the reviewer to take a quick peek as he moves along into different sections. The good thing about providing an external URL for publication list is that you can keep updating it with articles that are published after the proposal has been submitted (remember to do that!).

Similarly, when referring to your publications, adding an Abbreviation of the Journal before or after the year may not be a bad idea. The major reason is not about showing off your “high-profile” (since I don’t have one), but making different publications more distinct and memorable. For example, instead of writing “Me et al. 2008, 2009a, 2010b”, make it “Me et al. 2008, J Right; Me et al. 2009a, J More Right; Me et al. 2010b, J Even Better”. It is very likely that you will keep repeating some of these publications in other parts of the Biosketch. This way it’s easier to link them back to specific topics.

Another presentation tip is to type your own publications in bold. Because the instructions ask you to give some background information about each topic, you may find it necessary to cite other people’s work. You want to be clear about which work belongs to you. This is especially a problem when you are not the first author of a publication. So I would put a small note at the beginning of the section, saying that references in bold are the PI’s own work.

Anyway, these are just my speculations. I look forward to finding out whether the reviewers agree or not!


Monday, January 5, 2015

Buddha, Universe, Matrix, and Neuroscience

假设我们现在处于公元前四世纪,有人跟你说,我们这个地球,甚至连太阳系,都是银
河系的一个小不点儿;宇宙中像我们银河系这样的,又至少有几百个billions。那你的
反应可能只有一个字:“啊?”或者四个字:“你在说啥?”然而就在那个时候,佛祖
释迦摩尼就是这样教弟子的。一千个我们所在的世界,称作小千世界;一千个小千世界
,构成中千世界;同类推出的大千世界,一共有多少呢?有“恒河沙数”个。多得像印
度恒河里的沙子一样数都数不清。

如果你是老师,整天抱怨学生难教,那你就想像一下当年佛祖教学生的难度吧!在宏观
方面,没有天文望远镜来证明自己的话。微观方面,佛曾经说过,众生需要慈悲,因为
一杯水中,都含有数不清的生命。你说,在没有显微镜的情况下,你的学生叫:“
Prove it!”你该怎么办呢?怎么证明给他们有那么多的bacteria在一杯看似透明的水
里呢?佛唯一能依靠的就是他的性格魅力。

1.  有你有我

佛教不是受所有人欢迎的,其中一个极为重要的原因就是被认为过于悲观。比如说,“
无我”的概念,还有“空”的说法,“本来无一物”,什么都不存在,不是吗?不是的
。这里的无我,不是没有我,而是“无常我”。这个“无常”在佛教中是相当重要的一
个概念。我们的身体,所有的细胞和分子,每时每刻都在代谢与变老。从物质上讲,没
有一个固定不变的个体。这在那个年代又好难解释给学生了! 那从精神上呢?首先,
我们该如何定义这个灵魂?如果你说是思想,我思故我在,或者念头,就是“我”,那
是不对的。佛经常将念头比作江河中的浪头,一个走了另一个又来了,没有一个常“住
”的。静修中有一种方法就叫做“不住念”,或“不著念”。就是说,道行低的人,要
想拼命压制念头,可能很难,那干脆就顺其自然,随着念头来去,同时观察它,看看念
头是怎样一个接一个来的,你想留也留不住。“空”,不是没有,其实是“不住”的意
思。

无常是一切苦的根源。人生不如意十之八九,另外那一二也keep不住。你说,我是首富
的儿子,从生到死都富贵如意,那我就说,你能不死,那才是真如意!人只有认识到无
常之后,才会生起皈依的心思。这里说的皈依,不单指佛教,可能是其他宗教,这个问
题在后面我们还会继续讨论。

那么,我们的性格习气呢,尤其是与生俱来的那部分。佛认为,天性是由“业”来决定
的。有的人天生和善,有的凶巴巴的。注意,这个业也是非常重要的一个概念。“万般
将不去,唯有业随身”。佛教认为众生从无始劫来经历“分段生死”,在每一段之间,
是没有记忆或思想的。如果说我思故我在,我没得思我就不存在了,这是不对的。业有
善业和恶业,是你在无穷尽的生命中积累而来的,不断的此消彼长,不会因为没有了生
命而消失。所以说,佛不但承认有“我”的存在,而且认为这个个体的力量是非常强的
。是跨时间和地域的一种存在。在座的如果结过婚,就会知道,想要改变一个人,是一
件多么难的事,跟释迦摩尼当年教学生差不多的难。如果只是冲他吼几句,一点儿用都
没有,得用很多年,甚至一辈子的时间,慢慢的去熏陶,去感化,最后可能成,也可能
不成。业的力量就是这么大!如果不成,也不要怨人,只能说自己的人格魅力,比佛祖
还差那么一点儿。

那么到底什么是现世的“我”?“We are what we repeatedly do.”( Aristotle )
我们不断重复做的事情,会对我们的业有很大影响,继而决定今后的性情和运气。当然
这个业不光是牵扯自己,还包括个人与他人的关系,俗称缘分。在你进入每段生死之前
,你的业会进行激烈的computation。跟你最有渊源的,会成为你的父母。注意是父母
,不是spouse。父母在你身上投入的可比spouse多多了。

2.  书到今生读已迟

这句话,乍一听来,也挺悲观的。就是我这辈子的书,都是为下辈子读了?到时候还记
得吗?我们常说,“性命攸关”。注意这个“性”,居然排在“命”的前面。还有什么
比命更大的吗?有。这不是古人在刻意强调修身养性的重要,而是因为,性的延续,是
不受命的限制的。我们有时候说,某人有慧根,这与这个人受的教育(至少是这辈子的
教育),甚至聪明程度,没有关系。举个例子,《射雕》中的郭靖,就是很傻,但又很
有慧根的人,比如他抬头看北斗七星开悟那段。你如果说,这是虚构的,不算,那么举
个真人的例子,康熙。这是个聪明人,但是单凭聪明,一个人取得不了那么多的成就。
集儒家文化之大成,精通多种语言,数学,骑射,同时还要解决内忧外患。这些能力,
要N多世才能积累来的。

有些人说起宿命论来,认为太悲观。什么都注定了,那还拼什么劲儿?Yes and no。 
大多数不信教的人现在都承认性格决定命运,这是不需要隔世,现世就能验证的。但不
是什么都不能改。读书可以修性,行善可以消恶业,仔细琢磨一下,这可是相当了不得
的!你想,这一生无论挣多少钱,出多大的名,都是带不走的。能够改善你无始劫来积
累的习气,并且决定到下一世的运气的事,不得当作大事来做吗?“人身难得,中土难
生,大道难闻。”不知道就罢了,知道了就得珍惜生命,好好努力。

3.  黑客帝国

我在十几年前看了Matrix这部电影时,就在想,肯定会有人把它和佛教联系起来。之后
一直没有看到,可能是我miss掉了,不过至少现在看到了,比如这个贴:
http://atheism.about.com/od/philosophyofreligion/a/maxtrixbuddh

我倒不是说,真有什么人跟机器人打仗,把人能量变成电池之类的。而是说,这个世界
,就是造物主制造的一个类似Matrix之类的东西。前面说了,佛教承认“我”的存在,
而且是很powerful的一种存在,但佛对我们所处的这个世界,包括整个宇宙的看法,不
能说不存在(虚幻也是一种存在),但可以说是不真实的。佛认为所有的众生,在没有
进入这个分段生死的很久以前,都是佛。现在只是迷失本性,以假当真。前面说的分段
生死和业,相当于这个Matrix的游戏规则。凡是学过Neuroscience的,或者上过
Sensation & Perception这门课的,就应该知道,我们对外界的感知是多么不可靠。我
们的五官里有各种sensors,将外界信号转换成细胞可以传递的形式,一级一级,层层
穿到大脑皮层。这当中你把任何一步截断,换成虚拟外界的信号,只要你做得够精,最
后大脑是分不出来的。所以说,一切为心造。一念之差,天堂地狱。作恶的时候,或者
担惊受怕的时候,你已经是在地狱里了,还用别人往里送吗?

无能生有,无的力量是很大的。道家不讲无,“道生一,一生二,二生三,三生万物。
”但是这个道,也是看不见摸不着的东西。如果这个宇宙是被制造出来的,那么有一个
无所不能,无所不在的造物主,不仅是可能的,而且是必须的。你如果自己写个程序编
一个虚拟世界,甚至写一本小说,你在自己的创作中就是这个无所不能,无所不在的造
物主。“An author in his book must be like God in the universe, present 
everywhere and visible nowhere.”(Gustave Flaubert)那么你写的这个程序在运
行之前,你的世界是什么样子?可以说什么都没有,也可以说是那么一个Singularity
,就像宇宙大爆炸之前所处的状态。

这里插一句,整个大爆炸的过程,是在多少多少分之一秒内完成的。很多人经常赞叹,
这么短的时间内,怎么能完成这么大的工程?其实,何为时间长短呢?没有人的感知,
时间无所谓长短。我记得小时候还没有双休日,星期六下午放学,经常和同学出去玩。
那一下午可是长啰!有多长,绝对比现在一个星期要长。我们经常听同事感慨,怎么一
眨眼就又到星期五了呢?什么都没干!这可不是我自己的臆想,我问过很多上年纪的人
,他们都认为小的时候时间过得就是慢。动物界有些昆虫,生命不到一年,你可能觉得
它挺可怜,谁知道呢?兴许以它的感知,和我们的一百年一样长。天上一天,地下一年
,时间这个东西也不是绝对的。

4.  天上天下,唯我独尊

这句话会让人觉得释迦摩尼很狂妄,跟他平日的性格不符。其实,这里的我,指的是每
一个人,因为众生平等,人人皆有佛性。我其实最早接触的是基督教,但后来学到荣耀
归主,我们都是主的羔羊,就觉得不如佛教的教义更吸引我。有时候想,我可能是个极
度狂妄的人(注:通常真正骄傲的人,外表反而很谦虚,因为他已经骄傲到不在乎别人
怎么评价他的地步),基督用天堂回报,我都不为所动,非要去跟他追求平等。

禅宗经常讲,“什么是佛法?饿了吃饭,困了睡觉。”“佛是什么?佛是臭屎厥。”恐
怕还没有哪个宗教敢这么讲自己的主子的。那这倒底在说什么呢?西游记里最后一集,
师徒几人第一次拿了经书走,发现空无一字。有人说,其实那就是真经。佛自己也说,
我讲了那么多年,其实没有讲一个字。这就是在说,成佛的根本,就是让你明白这个世
界的虚幻,不要再以假当真,这就行了!就这么简单,也就这么难。之所以有这么多宗
派和教义,都是方便法门。佛常说的一个比喻,给你一艘船过河,过完了船就扔了,没
用了,只是图方便的,不是最终的目的。

佛教和道教都认为,sensory stimulation是不好的。“五色令人目盲,五音令人耳聋
,五味令人口爽,驰骋田猎令人心发狂…”(道德经)但sensory stimulation只是一
个方面。我爸爸经常跟我说,逛街最累人了,同样是出去,比干什么都累。为什么呢?
在你逛商店的时候,你有这个“欲”,看着什么,都琢磨要不要买。当欲和外界刺激相
结合的时候,是最伤元神的了。道家养生的终极就是达到“复归婴儿”的状态。我们常
人的元神一直是在不断减少的。清心寡欲,可以减少的慢一些,要想还原,就要靠修行
。静修从小处来讲,是补充元神,从大处来讲,最后可以让你找回真我,脱离这个虚假
的世界,回归原先的佛性。“听静夜钟声,警醒梦中之梦;观澄潭月影,窥见身外之身
。”(菜根谭)你就出Matrix了。

说到欲,这里插一句,人的这种出生方式,只是三界中众多方式的一种。像克隆,无性
繁殖这些,佛经中都是提到过的。可在那个年代,怎么跟你的学生讲呢?又得拿人格魅
力来压他了。

读书做学问的人,学佛容易犯的一个毛病,就是瞧不起净土宗。禅宗比较cool,其它的
有些讲理,念佛拜佛那都是给没文化的老头老太太干的。而且不是说我们和佛都平等吗
?为什么要念他?因为你对自己不信任。你说我这肉眼凡胎,麻烦事一大堆,说我是无
所不能的佛,怎么可能?所以就给你个东西让你信。拜佛其实就是在拜自己。而且从修
行的角度来讲,念佛要做到一心不乱,最后只剩一句阿弥陀佛在脑子里,跟打坐来摒弃
杂念是一个道理。

至于别的宗教呢?佛承认世间所有的宗教的主和神甚至狐仙鬼仙。“闻道有先后,术业
有专攻。”大家都是得道者,只不过层次有所差别,而且显示方式不同。佛有三身,法
身、报身和化身。化身就是根据接受引领的人的具体情况,来决定以什么方式显现,以
什么方式教化。世界文化差别这么大,单一的一种教法是行不通的。无论哪种信仰,除
非是很糟糕的一些cults,都对人有好处。

罗嗦了这么多,都是最基本的佛学常识,也不知道讲明白了没有(其实我没讲一字---
又在发狂了!)。最后用金刚经的一句名言结束:

凡所有相,皆是虚妄。若见诸相非相,即见如来。