"If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things." ~ Albert Einstein
I learned about this quote only two years ago, yet it has kept popping up in my mind. I used to think there could be a hundred reasons for people to live a happy or miserable life, but now I've started to believe there is only one.
We have seen rich people whose lives are meaningful and gratifying, as well as people who do all sorts of silly things just to confirm they have money. The difference is, the former has a goal, whether it is to make more money or to assist college students. The latter might have had a goal some time ago, but made the mistake by announcing that they had ultimately realized their dream, leaving the rest of their lives a ship sailing without a course. Some say, people need to have jobs to keep their spirit up. That's true only when the job is something they care about, not a treadmill they have to tolerate in order to receive paychecks.
Approaching forty, I finally understood that one cannot put one's happiness in other people's hands. We shall work hard for our goals. Although achieving a goal isn't completely independent of luck, generally speaking, we have a fairly good control of our progress and performance. Successful or not, we often find the result coming with a good reason. We need this type of "logic", as well as a somewhat objective judgment on how well we have been doing. When working towards a goal, we are grounded. We may be exhausted by hard work, but we sleep soundly at night.
In contrast, "people and things" are less predictable. One day we may think we have them, the next they are gone. Clinging to something like that will make us vulnerable, although there might be a period of time in which we have the illusion that they belong to us through and through. It's good that they are here. Treat our family and friends as pleasant surprises, not something granted. Appreciate their presence, but keep in mind that they, as well as a lot of other things---money, health, social status---might be taken away from us one day. Try to take it easy when we have to let go. Pessimistic people are often too affected by uncertainties and ephermeralness, so afraid of losing something they have been attached to that they may even choose not to have it in the first place.
Boiling down to the essentials, it all has something to do with our limited lifespan, with the death we are inevitably heading towards. Goals provide us with opportunities to prove our values and leave behind evidence that we once existed. Deadlines make us finish things. Death is the deadline for us to achieve our goals; it stimulates action. What we have truly accomplished is our most powerful weapon in defying mortality. And that's often the only thing for people in the future to associate with our names.
I learned about this quote only two years ago, yet it has kept popping up in my mind. I used to think there could be a hundred reasons for people to live a happy or miserable life, but now I've started to believe there is only one.
We have seen rich people whose lives are meaningful and gratifying, as well as people who do all sorts of silly things just to confirm they have money. The difference is, the former has a goal, whether it is to make more money or to assist college students. The latter might have had a goal some time ago, but made the mistake by announcing that they had ultimately realized their dream, leaving the rest of their lives a ship sailing without a course. Some say, people need to have jobs to keep their spirit up. That's true only when the job is something they care about, not a treadmill they have to tolerate in order to receive paychecks.
Approaching forty, I finally understood that one cannot put one's happiness in other people's hands. We shall work hard for our goals. Although achieving a goal isn't completely independent of luck, generally speaking, we have a fairly good control of our progress and performance. Successful or not, we often find the result coming with a good reason. We need this type of "logic", as well as a somewhat objective judgment on how well we have been doing. When working towards a goal, we are grounded. We may be exhausted by hard work, but we sleep soundly at night.
In contrast, "people and things" are less predictable. One day we may think we have them, the next they are gone. Clinging to something like that will make us vulnerable, although there might be a period of time in which we have the illusion that they belong to us through and through. It's good that they are here. Treat our family and friends as pleasant surprises, not something granted. Appreciate their presence, but keep in mind that they, as well as a lot of other things---money, health, social status---might be taken away from us one day. Try to take it easy when we have to let go. Pessimistic people are often too affected by uncertainties and ephermeralness, so afraid of losing something they have been attached to that they may even choose not to have it in the first place.
Boiling down to the essentials, it all has something to do with our limited lifespan, with the death we are inevitably heading towards. Goals provide us with opportunities to prove our values and leave behind evidence that we once existed. Deadlines make us finish things. Death is the deadline for us to achieve our goals; it stimulates action. What we have truly accomplished is our most powerful weapon in defying mortality. And that's often the only thing for people in the future to associate with our names.
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Comments highly appreciated! - Fiona